belief

hey, I am happy to connect but I don't know
if there is a bone in my body that can
commit to anything outside of showing up

I hate the idea of filling in a schedule
just to make my ego laugh
no, I refuse to do that

I need to figure out what I
believe in. right now, that is
trees, air, mandarin oranges, a guy (in small doses)
you, my brother daniel (only during ping pong)
my dad (only when outside), my mom,
my brother ryan (only in kitchen)

I don't know if I believe in crm
is it not a risk when teaching the skills
to place a value on 'being in the zone'
I wish someone told me being out of the zone
was fine, didn't urge me to get back
allowed me to fight, helped me take care
instead of saying happy is good,
depression is bad
anger is bad

I know this may not be exactly what they mean
but is this not a huge risk?